


the lies of your heart

by Aelig



Series: Comfortember 2020 [21]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Teen Titans - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Cir-El | Mia Lane-Kent is Supernova, Crying, Earth-197, Gen, Hallucinations, Hugs, It's JASON, Jason Todd & Cir-El | Mia Lane-Kent Friendship, Jason is dead in this one, Lois Lane is a good parent, Mia has a very bad day, or night, the fic also knows as:, when your best friend is dead and you don't know how to cope with it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:55:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aelig/pseuds/Aelig
Summary: "Jason was sitting on her bed when she came back from the bathroom.A long, hot shower had done wonders on her mental state, but now she felt every ache in her bones again. Her eyelids kept dropping and her lungs pushing more yawns.She ignored all of that."OR: The anniversary of Jason's death is coming. Mia don't cope.
Relationships: Cir-El | Mia Lane-Kent & Lois Lane, Jason Todd & Cir-El | Mia Lane-Kent
Series: Comfortember 2020 [21]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996051
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	the lies of your heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!! I hope you are all okay!! :D
> 
> I'm so sorry for not posting these last days. I wasn't doing well and I didn't have the fic ready so... I'm slowly trying to get back on track though!! 
> 
> This fic is for the prompt "Exhaustion" c:
> 
> Thanks so much to [Dottie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dottie_wan_kenobi/pseuds/dottie_wan_kenobi) for being my beta with this one!! :heart:

Jason was sitting on her bed when she came back from the bathroom.

A long, hot shower had done wonders on her mental state, but now she felt every ache in her bones again. Her eyelids kept dropping and her lungs pushing more yawns.

She ignored all of that.

Mia went to her desk, looking at the homework that was still here since she went out two hours ago; there had been a tsunami on the West Coast and then a string of robberies to stop when she came back to Metropolis. Before that, she had already spent half of her day out there in costume, and the same for every day of the week. On top on homework, school, making sure her brothers weren't doing anything stupid, spending some times with the Teen Titans, and trying not to raise any suspicion from her parents.

It was fine. She was fine.

“I doubt you are,” said Jason behind her. She ignored him.

She didn't want to deal with that right now. She _couldn't_.

“I see. So you're gonna be an asshole today.”

“Fuck you.” Mia didn't even try to look at him. She could feel him move, looking over her shoulder at what she was writing, humming in her ear.

“That's not nice. What a way to treat your best friend, girl scout.”

She took a hard breath. She still wasn't looking at him. She wasn't sure what she was writing – it was some kind of maths things, but she wasn't sure she could properly _think_ right now.

The days where Jason was here were always the more difficult ones.

“What is it now, Mia? Afraid of me?”

She looked right at him. He had this smile, half-smirking and half-fond, that he kept using around her, and used to have around the Titans, especially Dick. His eyes were laughing, shining. He looked – well. Good.

Mia wanted to get up, to take Jason into her arms and never let him go, never again.

She wouldn't get caught doing that again, though. The first time- The first time she saw him and _tried_ to touch him and her fingers closed on-

Jason was still smiling, still shining, still fifteen. Forever fifteen.

She was eighteen, now. Graduation was close. It was April.

It had been... It will be two years soon. So soon. Too soon. Forever too soon.

“Mia?” came a soft, sleepy voice from the door. “What are you doing still awake?”

_Shit_.

“Mom?” she turned and, sure enough, her mother was there, in her pajamas, hair loose around her face. She still had pillow marks – she probably hadn't been awake for long.

“I'm just finishing this exercise and I'm going to bed, Mom.”

Lois frowned, and Mia grimaced. “Sweetie, it's nearly 4 am. You should have been in bed a long time ago.”

For as much as she loved her mother, she was way too perceptive for her own good. That made a wonderful journalist out of her, sure, but it was always hard to hide things from her. Especially because she cared so much, because she knew them, her, so much.

Mia should feel guilty, for hiding so many things for her. She should, but... She shouldn't, too. She remembered how her parents worried over her, how they acted, how it took a toll on the family, when-

Jason gave a half-laugh beside her. She glanced at him, but he didn't stop, and her mother frowned even more.

“Mia.”

“I'm fine, Mom.”

“I didn't ask.”

Her mother was now coming to her desk, way more awake than before. The pillow marks were melting into worry lines. She laid a hand on her forehead, and Mia realized she was shaking.

The world had started to go blurry a while ago, but it was kind of getting worse, now.

“You don't look sick,” noted Lois. Then, she looked over her homework, still wary, and Mia let her.

She... didn't really feel like fighting right now.

Her mother took the paper she was filling and waved it a little before her eyes. “Did you even see what you were writing?”

“Of course,” she replied with an annoyed sigh. “Seriously, Mom, just go back to bed. I still have work to do.”

Her mother hummed. “I thought you were going to bed?”

“... Yeah. That too.”

Her mother was now looking right at Mia, her gaze piercing her skin and skull and searching through her brain. Lois sat on her bed, quietly, and now she was more soft – still worried, but no anger or irritation.

“Mia, sweetheart. When was the last time you slept?”

She shrugged. “Last night, of course.”

“You don't look like it,” countered her mother.

“I'm... I'm fine,” she breathed quietly. Her hands were shaking so badly, now; she tried to make it stop and tightened her grip on her pen, trying to think about anything else but-

_Crack_. Her pen had snapped on half.

She let out a half-sob.

“Oh, sweetheart,” murmured her mother, and soon she was in her arms, shaking even more, her breathing all over the place, the world blurry and white and-

Mia started to cry. “I'm- I'm _fine_ -”

“I don't think you are, honey,” said Lois, so low, just for her. It made her cry even more.

“I'm fine,” she insisted. “I need to be- I need to-”

“Mia, you should rest. You don't need to do anything.”

She hid her face in her mother's neck. She didn't want to see the look Jason was giving her. “Yes, yes I need to, Mom. I- I owe it to Jay.”

Lois sighed a little. Mia couldn't be mad at her – they had had this conversation more than once, these last two years.

“You don't owe him anything, Mia. Besides, I don't think Jason would like how you're pushing yourself. I think he would want you to take care of yourself a little more.”

“Yeah, that one is true,” piped Jason. Mia still didn't look at him.

“I owe him. He was the one who _loved school_ , and who wanted so _badly_ to graduate, and who wanted to go to college and- I need to do that for him because _he can't anymore_.” Mia was back to crying, tears falling in a never-ending flow out of her eyes and heart. “I need to do it, Mom- I need to do it and never stop because when I stop, I can't stop thinking about _him_.”

Her mother's arms tightened around her. “I know, my love. I _know_.” Her voice was a little broken, too.

“I need to do that,” Mia said again, breathless, and so, _so_ tired.

Lois didn't say anything more. Mia either. They just stayed there, and her mother kept holding her, rubbing her back, kissing her hair, being a rock when she was falling apart all over again.

After a while, though, Mia detached herself from the embrace. Her mom wiped her tears away, and she let her do it; she wasn't sure she had the energy to move her arms right now.

“You should go to bed now, honey. Things... Things will be a little bit better with rest, alright?”

Mia nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”

“You want me to stay with you?” Again, her mother was so worried, so soft, so ready to help her and love her.

Mia smiled at her, her eyelids half-closed again. “Nah, it's okay, Mom.”

“Alright then. Now, get up, young lady. It's your bedtime.”

Mia breathed out a half-hearted laugh. She didn't have the energy to fight more, even if everything in her cried and yelled about all the homework left, about all the nightmares to come. She was just – exhausted. Her body couldn't support her anymore, and her eyes refused to stay open. It wasn't like she could really protest more.

She let her mother easing her into her bed, tucking her in. Then, she kissed her on the forehead. “Good night, honey.”

“Night, Mom.”

Soon, the light was out and her mother was closing the door. There was only silence and darkness around her now, and Mia's heart clenched.

She should sleep. She would sleep. But the _silence_ -

The silence was too much like two years ago, like this thing she couldn't hear anymore. It made her heart beat way too fast, her breath lost his rhythm. She needed something, a sound, a melody, a voice, ~~_a heartbeat_~~ -

“I'm fine,” murmured Mia, ignoring the tears in her eyes.

“Liar,” answered Jason softly.

And, like always, he was right.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it!! :D
> 
> I'm going to try to have my prompt for tomorrow ready, but I honestly can't promise anything psidjo
> 
> Take care, a lot of love for you!!! :heart:


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